


Awake & Unwanted

by IheartKyloRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Dark Kylo Ren, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Reylo, Dark Side Rey, Drama & Romance, Dramatic Kylo Ren, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Fuck Balance, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Not A Fix-It, Orphans, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rey Needs A Hug, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Star Wars References, The Dark Side of the Force, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Who needs the light, Young Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26142997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IheartKyloRen/pseuds/IheartKyloRen
Summary: They are both unwanted, lost souls in constant search for acceptance. Their hearts cleaved open by trauma leaving them vulnerable to the world and the manipulations it possesses. When they stumble upon each other by accident they discover a bond that ties them together like no other. Similar to a twin flame, their souls appear to mirror each other, calling to the other while they struggle to accept one another and understand why they are connected. Everyone comes with a past, but the future maintains the power to change us all.A Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, canon divergent, re-imagining in a semi modern alternate universe you might recognize as somewhere on Earth. Rey is a 15-year-old foster kid that occasionally finds trouble and gets caught up trying to help a new friend she meets on her birthday. Ren is the 19-year-old sidekick to the current ruler Snoke, who discovers Rey isn't the enemy after all, but he keeps trying to kill her anyway.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “Wait, you’re running away?” BB questions, realizing that she has a small pack over her shoulder he had mistaken as just a larger purse.  
> “Only if necessary, I’m always ready to leave. I’m waiting for my parents to return, but I’ll land back in the system no matter what I do. They’ll be able to track me that way,” she admits. “McDonalds? Taco Bell? What’s open this late?”  
> His head down, he follows Rey with indifference. Finding a city park to share a box of tacos in she inquires more about BB’s situation as they get to know one another in the haze of the streetlights, the stir of night bugs around their heads. Sipping on their sodas as BB explains very little to what she wants to know when a man a few years older than them appears begging for a drink.

Turning fifteen is not Rey’s idea of a great time except for getting older and finally aging out. Her current foster parents attempted to dress her in a pink, strappy dress after inviting a dozen girls from her class to an unauthorized party where she ends up in the corner popping balloons with a permanent frown upon her face. At best she’ll have a bunch of gift cards to blow on some new tunes by the end of the night. Her playlist desperately needs a makeover.

The girls from her class show up. They’re kind, mostly. But she moves around so much from home to home, she almost never stays anywhere long enough to make real friends, leaving her to fend for herself as a loner. It doesn’t affect her now, not after so many years. A kind of numbness has caked over her feelings. Only leaving her with one last desire, the one where her parents come back for her someday.

Maybe that one aspect of her makes her appear to be a dreamer, but wishful thinking is all she has left most days. The tattered note left behind that she keeps in her wallet says they will be back. That there were reasons they had to leave her there where she would be safe and cared for. She fully believed it all these years, that all she goes through while waiting will be worth it. To be held to her mother’s bosom and smell the perfume along her neckline. Her father’s scruff would scratch her sensitive skin when he holds her to his chest so tightly her feet leave the ground. She’d wait forever to be accepted, it feels like she already has waited that long.

At least the cake is decent, she thinks, lingering in the doorway that will lead her out of the hell that is the celebration of her 15th year. Edging her way out into the darkened hallway of the rec hall, she backs around the corner. Backing all the way up until she is out of sight, where she can turn and haul herself outside for some fresh arid oxygen; the dusty kind. The only kind her small Arizona town has to offer.

In the hazy night air she takes a deep breath. Coughing up the sandy granules she chokes on, she stumbles around the corner of the building finding a kid a bit older than her struggling in the grasp of another. The larger one looks to be close to eighteen, the other maybe sixteen with the collar of his t-shirt wrenched into the hands of the older one while he demands his wallet.

Rushing over, she picks up a branch thicker than a broom handle and lands it square across the older kid’s back. The younger one, the one who could easily be into tech based on his smart appearance, falls from the older one’s grasp when he doubles over. They run back to the building near the front door, looking behind to see if the older kid follows, their chests heaving in the overhead spot that illuminates them.

Poking her head around the corner and back again, her shoulders relax. “I think it’s clear. You should stay in the street lights, or he might come back. The main part of town is that way.”

The kid steps after her as she tries to go back inside, so she turns around and holds her hand up. “Listen, this is where we go our separate ways.”

“I can’t go back out there right now, please?” his voice rattles from his experience, pulling on her heartstrings.

She reaches for his wire frame glasses and straightens them for him. “There you go that’s a lot better. So, what’s your name and why are you this far out all alone?”

“You can call me BB, it’s my code name and I’m undercover. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more. What’s your name and story?”

“Rey, and me too, big secret,” she flashes him an ornery smile. “Brown Volvo; climb in the back, throw the blanket over yourself and lay low. My foster’s will be out in maybe twenty to head home. I’ll sneak you out after we arrive.”

“Thanks.”

Stepping back into the rec hall, she has to ask herself why she gets herself into these situations. Her damn heartstrings get yanked so easily. Slipping unnoticed back into the dance hall portion of the building she heads over to the presents table covered in a cheap plastic tablecloth to evaluate her haul. Not too bad, a couple of generic gift cards and some candy will make for a good evening. She won’t have to hock anything for a while. She pockets the candy and half of the gift cards knowing her foster parents will take the rest to _save_ _for her_ for later. She doesn’t give a damn she hocks their silver when they aren’t around to buy extra food, because this party thing isn’t their norm. It’s a farce for the sake of the state check they stash away each month.

Close on the twenty minute marker she finds herself standing by the door with a fake smile plastered across her otherwise annoyed face thanking everyone for coming and enjoying the deli tray, cake and music. Only moments later she follows the foster parents to the car, where she hopes BB is tucked away safely.

***

Impatiently, Ren waits, his cheap ass burner phone in hand for his insider to touch base. It’s been hours and his patience has worn thinner than usual. The expanse of his room a bore as his thick frame paces across the ink, black tile floor speckled with threadbare vintage rugs. A knock sounds on the elaborate wooden French doors that separate his quarters from the main upstairs hallway of the estate.

Flinging the door open, he waves the servant in without as much as a greeting, then goes back to his pacing. Stopping just on the far side of the roo he waits for the servant to leave his dinner on his sleek black desk before watching him leave, keeping a cool distance between them.

“Sir, Snoke requests your presence.”

“Very well.” He eyes the phone again, setting it to the side. “Inform him I will be in when I finish.”

After his meal he approaches a set of tall doors more spectacular than his own that span the entrance to Snoke’s office. Assistants stand like sentries on each side of the entry, reaching for the brass handles that gleam in the subtle glow of the room, opening the doors before him.

“Have you made progress?” Snoke questions when Ren stops before his massive desk.

His head facing the floor, he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from speaking before he gathers his thoughts. “Master, there has been a delay in receiving the information.”

Snoke’s fist slams the top of the desk. “I need it now!”

Ren’s body instinctively steps back to his outburst. “I am fastidiously working to attain what we need, Master. It will be soon.”

“There is someone in the chamber you should speak with. Some of the troops caught him earlier tonight trying to flee the scene.” Snoke continues his coal black eyes thick with age stare at Ren’s pale face when he looks up in question.

“A hostage from what scene?”

“I was tipped off on a possible location for the information. I sent in some of troops, but to my dismay they were only able to capture a man by the name of Poe, a hacker of sorts. I need you to interrogate him. He requires your kind of prodding. Don’t be gentle. I need to know how to find Luke Skywalker!”

The sneer on Snoke’s face at the name of Luke Skywalker rests bitterly in his memory as he strides out of the office. Turning to the door that will lead him to the lower level of the house, the one hidden beneath the ground with chambers that more resemble prison cells, he reminds himself Snoke saved him. It shouldn’t matter about his unique abilities, or the fact that Luke was his uncle who shared such abilities and with such almost killed him.

Ren is an orphan in his opinion. His parent’s too busy for him, his uncle wanting to kill him. Snoke was the only one who made him feel wanted; the only one who understood his abilities and didn’t try to kill him or abandon him for it. Nineteen years old and he still relies on the home and life provided to him by Snoke. He had considered getting away, but surviving on his own isn’t possible.

The moisture in the cellar walls is a stark contrast to the dry air outside the estate. The damp concrete stretches in hundreds of feet of walkways, rats scattering as he strides along, before landing in a room with a collection of four cells and a door smack in the middle of the furthest wall. Two cells on each side line the walkway to the door he approaches; the one of durasteel and bolts thicker than his thumb. A small window with cross bars over it sits at eye level for his absurdly intensive height.

Six foot and three inches of him stands before the man named Poe. Poe, strapped to an upright gurney with his appendages anchored to his sides by thick steel straps, has a thin line of blood slithering down the side of his face. Ren’s breath feels like static in his ears beneath the heavy helmet he wears to disguise himself; a masked face that has brought fear to many over the last handful of years.

Poe’s face reeks of awareness as his eyes dip closed at the man before him. Swallowing down a lump in his throat he does his best to ignore the building pressure in his head. A pressure headache, he would imagine being the best description, as Ren scans through his mind with his own seeking the very information he does not possess the details of. Details that were sent with BB to keep them protected in the fight to find Luke Skywalker, their last hope.

Poe is a member of the Resistance, a small group of do-gooders who are set at corrected the political spectrum the country has been overcome by. The leader of it all being Snoke, Ren is well known for being his sidekick. The general public unaware of the additional deviant abilities he holds beneath his delinquent exterior he will never see punishment for as long as Snoke is there to protect him. The Resistance is far more aware of the dangers that lurk inside the menacing man, in size as well as demeanor.

“The map? Where is it?” Ren’s voice distorted by the helmet inquires, his hand outstretched twisting Poe’s mind until he sweats alongside the blood on the side of his face.

“You won’t get your hands on it. We will find Skywalker first and ruin you.” Poe’s voice compresses on itself when Ren twists his hand to the side, as if sifting through the sand at the bottom of the jar.

***

Rey sneaks out the crooked storm door on the back porch to the car to let BB out of the back. Peeking inside she runs her hands over the blanket finding it to be flat and empty beneath. She looks around incapable of placing him.

_Psst, Psst._

Scanning the bushes on the other side of the car she sees the shine of his metal frames in the light and smiles at him. She waves him out observing his shirt with a rip in the side. Leaving him only for a quick moment, she sneaks back into the house and back out, handing him an orange t-shirt with the word _juvenile_ inked on the back. BB turns it in his hands accepting its improvement over the torn shirt and switches them while giving her a questioning look she shrugs at.

“I got busted once. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“Thank you for helping me. Where are we going?”

“To get some real food.” Her teeth peek through a thin grin as she pulls a gift card out of her pocket. “I was tired of this place anyway.”

“Wait, you’re running away?” BB questions, realizing that she has a small pack over her shoulder he had mistaken as just a larger purse.

“Only if necessary, I’m always ready to leave. I’m waiting for my parents to return, but I’ll land back in the system no matter what I do. They’ll be able to track me that way,” she admits. “McDonalds? Taco Bell? What’s open this late?”

His head down, he follows Rey with indifference. Finding a city park to share a box of tacos in she inquires more about BB’s situation as they get to know one another in the haze of the streetlights, the stir of night bugs around their heads. Sipping on their sodas as BB explains very little to what she wants to know when a man a few years older than them appears begging for a drink.

Rey hand’s him hers, but BB glares at him. Startled by his immediate dislike, she nudges him.

“What?” she mouths, her eyebrows knit together creating a deep line between them.

“That’s my brother’s jacket,” he states, his eyes radiating daggers in the strange man’s direction.

Rey stands up and snags her drink back from him. “Where did you get that jacket, thief?”

The man runs the back of his hand over the sweat on his brow, looking between the two. “Thief? What?”

“That jacket doesn’t belong to you, where did you get it?” Her hands land firmly on his chest pushing him backwards to the point he falls. “Tell me. It belongs to his brother.”

“Your brother? Poe Dameron, right? He’s your brother?”

“What do you know about him?” BB stands guarded by his side, his eyes looking over the jacket for clues.

“I pulled him out of the hands of the First Order earlier tonight, but we had to go separate ways to get away completely,” he explains, scooting away from BB slightly.

“Are you Resistance?” Rey questions unfathomably.

“Yeah… Yes, I am and I need to get BB back to them.” He eyes BB to see his reaction as he recollects the information he had gained from Poe.

BB scowls at the way Rey’s question is answered. “Sure, it’s a bit out of the way, though.”

“We’ll need a way to get there then.”

“What’s your name?” She asks, holding her hand out to him.

“Finn.” He dusts off the seat of his pants once he is on his feet again, none too soon when they turn to hear a group of men storming towards them. “First Order troops, run! They can’t catch us.”

Rey’s hand is pulled into Finn’s as he tugs her along, running through the park and out onto a dead end street. Finn pulls them in circles evaluating the best direction to go as Rey pulls firmly from his grasp.

“I can run without you holding my hand!”

Rey takes the lead having a preferred direction to run as Finn and BB follow behind, the sounds of multiple feet pounding the pavement in their hard soled boots. Looking over her shoulder to see them still on their heels, she ducks between two buildings. Racing down the alleyway to yet another until they feel the distance between them begin to spread. Springing off a milk crate she grabs onto a ladder hanging from a fire escape, crawling to the second story and pops inside an open window.

Watching, Finn and BB hop through the same window behind her, she grabs her knees panting. What has she gotten herself into now? Pondering the risk of continuing on with them, she observes them both from top to bottom.

“Fess up, what is going on? Why are they chasing you?”

BB and Finn question each other facially, silently asking who she means. Rey shakes her head.

“I’m not helping the two of you until I know what is going on?”

She finds a milk crate and inverts it to sit on. She can hear the men running through the alleyway searching for them. Finn and BB look at each other once again.

“BB has a part of a map that will lead to Luke Skywalker,” Finn blurts out as BB punches his arm. “Ow!”

_Up there_ are the only words they need to run again. Out of the door and down the inside stairwell they rush through the back door of a pawn shop that Rey navigates as if she lived there. Sneaking behind the counter she grabs a ring of keys off of a hook and then turns in a circle looking for anything valuable within immediate reach.

Finding nothing valuable enough, she waves them on as they push through a side door. Nearly falling over one another, they stop for a moment as Rey looks around the graveyard of cars, looking for one in particular.

“There.” She runs to the hunk of metal with a withered tarp over it and pulls the tarp off. “Get in.”  
“This trash?” Finn steps backwards, his hands up in protest. Until he hears the men following them as they gain.

“This trash will have to do,” she shouts as she fumbles the keys into the ignition and throws the car into drive.

“Are you even old enough to drive?” Finn wonders out loud.

“I am tonight.”

The vintage hunk of metal fishtails on the loose gravel as she spins the wheel to head them onto the street. She drives until the city lights are a close memory on the horizon behind them. She swerves from the main road and pulls out into a field, the dust lifting into a massive cloud behind them.

“I thought Luke Skywalker was a myth,” she asks, her eyes training on both of them alternately. “A myth, right?”

BB and Finn exchange looks that set the hairs on the back of her neck to stand at attention. BB, leaning between the front seats from the back clears his throat and asks her to hear him out.

“Luke Skywalker is no myth. He is real, as is what he can do. We need him to fight the First Order. If you aren’t willing to help us, now would be the time to back out.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tide of the Force as it ripples across his senses isn’t an easy thing to describe, but it began months ago; the small fragments of her appearing at first in his dreams. She hasn’t felt him as of yet, though it is only a matter of time until she does, he believes. She is young, but he senses something about her he has yet to find the proper words to describe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding in tags to fine tune specifics. Please keep an eye.

The stiff air of Snoke’s office fills Ren’s lungs as he takes a deep breath when he walks in. Without the need to always be debriefed he finds these meetings to be a waste of his time. Primarily the meetings are a formality as he is one of a very few in existence with the ability to read into the minds around him. A skill honed over the last four years since Snoke took him under his wing. A skill his uncle was more resistant to focus on.

“Sir, the prisoner has escaped,” Snoke’s attendant explains.

Ren stands tall, his hands straight at his side with a plain expression. “So, I have heard. And how did that come to be?”

It may seem an odd question from a mind reader, but he can’t see everything at all times. The effort would be exhausting and whittle his other abilities into a weakened state. His ability reliant on the energy that surrounds life itself the use of it requires heavy meditation and years of refined focus and training.

“He had help.” Captain Phasma marches in, her uniform in pristine condition, the one in charge of maintaining order among the troops. “One of our own.”

“Finn,” Ren states knowingly. “Of course.”

Finn had been hesitant to fight in their last mission. Stood but rather helplessly by as he watched a fellow trooper die, still he did not raise his weapon. He had hoped that it wasn’t what it looked like, the man’s mind was a haze of thoughts, he couldn’t pull anything specific to determine his reaction by. Phasma had his weapon checked in hopes it had malfunctioned.

“We lost track of the prisoner, but managed to track Finn a bit further. He picked up two others before we lost track of him not long after; a hacker and a girl.”

His interest quickly invested in her explanation he turns to her. His voice dark and curious, his words are too eager. “What girl?”

“We have no identification yet. Sir, further instruction?” Phasma inquires her body lengthy and firm in its stance she stands before him, her hands resting together behind her back.

He sifts quickly through Phasma and the attendant’s minds before excusing them with a wave of his hand. “Find them.”

Their backs to him where they can’t see him sigh, he takes a deep breath, his hand running through the lengths of his hair. The girl is real?

The tide of the Force as it ripples across his senses isn’t an easy thing to describe, but it began months ago; the small fragments of her appearing at first in his dreams. She hasn’t felt him as of yet, though it is only a matter of time until she does, he believes. She is young, but he senses something about her he has yet to find the proper words to describe.

“You have felt the awakening then?” Snoke insists, strolling between the open doors.

Ren watches as he approaches, the doors closing them in as he tracks him to his seat. “Awakening?”

“Yes, I have felt it too. It is still rather weak. Would you not agree?” Gnarled hands intertwine on the massive desk, his eyes directed on Ren’s slackened face as his eyes turn downward inspecting the loose threads on the rug he stands upon.

“I suppose so, master.”

The meeting behind him he returns to his quarters, his mind no more settled than it was before on if this girl is the _awakening_ or a figment of his imagination. Is she even the same girl?

His room is a deep mahogany wood trim, grandeur and rich with ghostly-shaped shadows cast about due to heavy velvet drapes pulled almost fully closed most of the time. When he was still in high school he would describe the Snoke estate as something akin to Bruce Wayne Manor. Steeped in generations of history and filled with the aromatic fragrances of wood polish. Every bit of it is sprawling, knotted and old; only without the bat cave beneath, not in the Snoke estate. Below his estate it is a torture chamber and prison cells.

The most elaborate furnishing in his room after the hand designed desk is the poster bed. Intimidatingly large, it looms on one side of his room, smaller in appearance than it is next to the wide walls and tall ceilings. Even the dark surroundings don’t shrink the feel of the room much. This room his only sanctuary from the past or from his present. The same room his meditations took him in the direction of the girl, almost ritualistically.

His mind left open one night while he slept somehow, he realizes now, she entered his life and now he can’t get a reprieve from her infiltration. Until he meets her he can’t be too sure it is even the same girl that was mentioned, but he’s had feelings before.

In his dreams she appeared before him in a wrinkled sleep shirt her hair a tangled mess draping over the faded case of her pillow. The glow of her freckle specked skin, radiant in the incoming moonlight, illuminates the sheer layer of sweat glazing the surface of her flesh. His initial thought was she was a sweet little figment his subconscious conjured up; a reference to the part of him that remains unsure of his place with Snoke.

He fights his soul, unknown to his fellow First Order mates, in a near constant battle. A divide that rests from surface to bone, he can still feel a nagging pull to step away while he still can from the only person who lift him up from his own suffering. Rationalizing he is safer here than anywhere else, he stays. Here he has power and choices. Things he did not possess prior to his life here.

The girl, he thinks, taking a seat on the side of his bed his shoulders relaxing out of their formal hold. This dream girl has haunted him. Some dreams it is her sleeping soundly, no movement otherwise, eyes closed in a peaceful slumber. Others he recalls the way her bottom lip plumps when she lets it pop out from between her teeth as she takes a relaxing breath before sighing in relief. A thick unnaturally pink lip he has imagined sucking in between his own teeth to suck the sweet pink color closer to the surface; to deepen it with his personal mark.

The very idea of that simple act sends a vibration of lust throughout his body. His commitment to his training has forced him to abstain from any sexual congress. The more he trained, the more ruthless he appeared, the more difficult it became to gain that kind of attraction from women. Large and formidable, he could take them whenever he chose; force them into his bed if he so wanted, or wherever if he really cared to. His size would easily pin any soft delicate body incapable of escaping him. He hasn’t, the timing of it never calibrating with his other duties. He’s unsure if that is the one thing that crosses the line for him, forcing someone to sleep with him. Murder is easier.

The pressure in his pants of his rising erection stings as he palms himself over the thick dark material. Using the toe of one boot he shoves the other off by the heel, and then the remaining off with his foot. They fall sideways with a thud as he sweeps them away with his foot. Standing briefly to relieve the pressure building his pants shrug to the floor, his shirt not long after. The cool air licks his skin as he lies in bed upon silken sheets.

The back of his head hits the pillow as his mind recaptures the memory of that pink succulent lip and the expression on the face it belongs to. Her eyes shut and her chin arced into the air, short muffled grunts release from the back of her throat. Her teeth enclosing her lip out of view as her cheeks flush.

It wasn’t clear to him the first time what she was doing. He had to guide his dream to focus lower on her body. The vision of her coming into view with her shirt pulled up to beneath her tits, one hand tucked beneath groping herself. Her other hand is traceable by how her arm rests across her bared stomach and inside the waist of her panties, beneath the wrinkly gathering of her bed sheet. The back of her hand is defined beneath both fabrics moving in obvious circles against her clit. Rough circles he wants to watch her finger actually create as she twirls her hips against herself.

He felt as though he stood there and watched her for hours as she pleasured herself, saliva gathering in his mouth at the idea of tasting her, anywhere. He almost felt like a pervert as he spied on the unsuspecting girl; too young to fuck, too beautiful not to ejaculate to.

His mitt of a hand slips inside his boxers and grabs his erection. The dewy tip already oozing over the head he spreads it with his palm. In his mind it is her guiding his fluids over the tip of his dick, spreading him all down his length. Her hand must be rather tiny, but he suspects she would be able to get the job done with her feverish need to get herself off when he has watched. He bites into his forearm as he pulls on himself in fervent motion, the build of his orgasm imagining himself spilling his seed deep within her womb urging him on.

The idea of her warm petite hand pressing against his skin and that plump lip in his mouth has him groaning hard as he cums inside his boxers. A couple more soft strokes have every bit of his cum dripping over his hand to his stomach. Wasteful, he thinks, using his boxers to absorb the sticky mess from his skin. A breath escaping him in satisfaction, timed to the image of her doing the same, has him feeling the most relaxed he has in quite some time. If this is the girl, if she is real, he plans on fucking her hard one day. He resolved to the idea the second time he watched her in his dreams finger fucking herself until she let out a high pitched cry. He wanted it to have been his name, for him to be the one making her cum. That is the moment he knew it had to happen and he didn’t give a fuck how old she is.

“Real! The Jedi Order is real?” Rey’s face pales, disappointment she didn’t know sooner reflecting in her eyes. “BB, you said you have information for the Resistance? Do they know about the Jedi, wait, so the Force is real too? You weren’t teasing me?” Her face switches to elation, lit by the excitement of a magical world being further revealed.

“I haven’t seen it personally, but if Skywalker exists, then it must,” BB explains as Finn glances over his shoulder waving to the waitress for their check. “We need to get the information to my brother so he can locate him and find out.”

The late morning sun is already hotter than a skillet frying them like slices of walking bacon when they step out of the restaurant. Their hands held over their eyes as they approach their stolen car to find someone hooking it up to a tow truck. They race over to claim the car not thinking they could be caught red handed.

“Hey, that’s my car!” Finn shouts unconvincingly.

The older scruffy man hitching the car leaves his partner to finish and approaches them. “Correction, this is my car, where did you find it?”

“We took it off the hands of Unkar Plutt of Plutt Pawn, it’s ours now,” Rey demands, standing at her tallest height in front of him.

“Real cute, kid. Chewie, I told you we should have checked further south,” the man says over his shoulder. “Well, it’s my car and you can tell Plutt, Han Solo has stolen it back.” Han walks away to check the hitch ensuring it’s secure.

“Wait, _the_ Han Solo?” Rey exclaims. “The smuggler?”

He grumbles under his breath as she closes in on him from behind, his hands pulling on the chains and latches. When he stands again he turns and nearly bumps into Rey who is forced to step backwards to give him space. Han nods at Chewie who jumps in the passenger seat of the tow truck.

“Get in the car, we’ll tow you to the next town.” He gestures over his shoulder as he heads to the driver’s seat of the truck, leaving the three of them looking at one another.

Rey, finding her voice first, stops him. “No, we need your help.

“We need to get BB and his thumb drive to the Resistance,” Finn continues in place of Rey after seeing Han’s face fill with doubt at being needed. “He has a way of finding Luke Skywalker.”

Han stops. His feet coming to a rest so suddenly it kicks up dust from the parking lot. His face softening from a scowl, he moves back towards them. The abrupt recognition of Luke’s name has the three of them wondering if they have said too much.

“You are that Han Solo,” Finn states simply.

“Yeah, I knew him. I knew Luke,” his voice softens much like his expression. Until his eyes see a couple of vehicles approaching over the horizon line behind them. “First Order, get in the car. We’ll talk at the next stop.”

Rey and company look at the road coming up from the south seeing the three car caravan in all luminously shiny black SUVs as they approach far too quickly. Panic hits Rey straight in the heart. Running away was never this adventurous before. No bad guys, no good guys, no right from wrong, no vital information at risk of falling in the wrong hands; now she has it all at the same time.

Great haste has them hopping into the car being towed. Doors slam closed as Han speeds onto the road as Rey watches over the backseat out the back window, her hands white knuckled on the hot leather. Actually running away this time, she spins in the seat and faces the others.

“What the hell is actually going on here?” Her voice is weakened by panic, her heart still racing even though the cars shrink into the background. “Guys, please?”

“The First Order has been after Luke Skywalker for years. As you know he was considered a myth because he had been nearly forgotten by time. I wasn’t sure he was real until I downloaded the last piece to a map,” BB explains.

“Supposedly, Skywalker has the ability to bring the First Order down and restore a version of our original government. The kind where we have opinions, choices, even rights,” Finn adds.

Rey looks between their faces, glancing over her shoulder again seeing nothing behind them. When she turns back Finn and BB are waiting for her response. Her shoulders lift as she takes a deep breath, settling again when she exhales and leans back in the seat. “This isn’t what I thought I was signing up for. I don’t know anything other than First Order rule.” She shrugs apologetically looking away.

“Hey, don’t feel bad, you couldn’t know what was before all of this. None of us have experienced it, but I can lend you some books that tell our real history. The way we lived before Snoke attained control, the downfall before he did. It’s crazy, but we live in a very dark time, Rey. The First Order is a negative reflection of what the military was before his ascension. Before all of this, they were there to protect us all.” BB shakes his head eyes connecting with Finn’s.

“I’m not an idiot. I know they aren’t a good organization. I’m familiar with the Resistance, but I guess I never thought anything could be done. That it was the way of it. You’re saying with Skywalker a better rule could come into power?”

They both nod.

“We could bring back balance?” she clarifies.

They nod again in unison.

“I guess we have our work cut out for us. As long as you can keep me out of the system and from being returned to my fosters, I’ll stand with you.”

Finn and BB find themselves with wide toothy smiles, already partners in crime.

“Alright then,” Finn says, BB agreeing until they all are saying to each other bonding over the words, _alright then_.

The drive isn’t terribly long landing them in a small town made up of warehouses and one main strip. There were some housing developments off to the side of town, but for the most part this wasn’t a town you lived in unless you worked here, a go to for truckers and the like. They find themselves slipping out of the car into t a dim warehouse after they slide through a garage door. Chewie immediately goes to unhooking the car and working on it while Han waves the kids with him. Following him, they find themselves swapping buildings and walking into what appears to be a secret saloon of sorts.

“Where are we Finn asks?” Ahead of the others with his longer legs, Rey and BB force themselves to keep up.

“Pit stop. This is Maz’s place and you weren’t here. She may be able to help.”


	3. Chapter 3

Her name reverberates off of the walls as well as the inside of her mind, her body pulled in the direction it originates. A cacophony of voices draw her in with memories of screaming and flashes of people she doesn’t recognize.

_Rey… Rey… Rey…_

Most of the buildings in the area don’t have basements. Maz’s warehouse does if you follow a stone stairwell in the back of the building. It’ll lead you down into a maze of hallways and rooms. One room in particular calling her closer, a siren in a sea of shadows she follows. Helpless to its pull, her feet and brain leave her collective power as she follows the voices in the dark into a room littered with tattered and worn objects stowed away with layers of dust from years of being unused.

They lead her in towards a small chest sitting on top of a sheet covered table. She blows the first layer of dust away and uses the edge of her shirt to wipe the next before her fingertips graze over the details of the box. A slight nudge and it lifts, a plume of dust entering the air before her even after her efforts to eliminate most of the small particles.

The voices cease momentarily as she picks up a metallic ornate baton, or maybe a handle to something. Looking pieced together from a collection of well reused scraps, it is unique and interesting, but she has no idea what it is or why the voices stop until she thumbs the switch on the side. It comes to life with a loud buzz and wavers in sound as the beam it illuminates give the metallic bit in her hand the shape of an electric sword. It’s the hilt, she thinks as she breathes rapidly after being taken by surprise.

Soon the voices begin again.

This time she is in a forest, lost and confused, feeling chased by some rabid animal as she turns and seeking any possible escape. Her heart pounding as she stumbles through the darkened woods. She keeps turning around different gatherings of trees until she comes face to face with a man in all black and a mask over his face with a light saber in hand. The scenery then changes to something that looks like a battlefield. Startled as she watches him slice an enemy down with a saber of his own, her eyes slam shut. Even then the image of the mask looking straight at her, or possibly through her has her on the verge of tears.

The light disengages when the hilt hits the ground and skitters off to the side. Dropping it at the sound of screams inside her head, louder and more pronounced. The screams of a child begging, no pleading, for someone to come back, to return for her. Her parents, she wonders as her memory reminds her of an emotion she identifies from so long ago.

When she hears Maz speak to her she turns and realizes the stunningly slight woman is standing over her with the saber in her hands. Having falling to the ground backwards she rest on her butt with her hands flared out to her sides holding her upright. She looks up at Maz with watery eyes.

“I shouldn’t have gone in there. What was that?”

“That light saber belonged to Luke’s, and his father before him. And now it calls to _you_ ,” Maz explains as if it were to make any sense to Rey.

Standing and dusting of the seat of her pants, she attempts to walk around Maz to return to her new friends. “I have to finish helping them so I can get back to my foster’s.”

The feeling of having to get back surprises her. She hadn’t planned on going back unless she was caught, but now after those flashes she knows she needs to be there when her parents return. She has waited too long to not be there.

Maz reaches for Rey’s hand as she passes, taking it into hers she leans in closer. She stares deep into Rey’s eyes. “I see your eyes. You already know whomever you’re waiting for, they’re never coming back. There’s someone who still could.”

Rey’s eyes seek explanation in Maz’s eyes as she speaks nearly cryptically. “Luke.”

Maz’s face softens. “The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes. Feel it. The light, it’s always been there. It will guide you. The saber, take it.”

“I’m never touching that again! I don’t want any part of this.” Rey races past taking the steps two and three at a time to get to fresh air.

The thoughts in her mind swirl and swish about like an empty belly full of water. She is only fifteen, what the hell does a light saber have anything to do with her, calling her? The Force was supposed to be a myth, as were the Jedi. What else has she been blind to? She rushes past Han and the group, only stopping when Han grabs her arm.

“I need some fresh air,” she insists.

“Sure kid, whatever, but here keep this with you. Who knows what kind of trouble lies ahead.”

Taking the small pistol she tucks it inside her belt and dashes out the door. A deep breath rattles through her lungs as she runs away from the building reaching a thick of trees. There aren’t many areas filled with trees in her small town and the feel of lunging into the cool shadows cast from their branches is so satisfying she keeps running, unsure exactly what she is running from.

“Rey, stop!” BB calls to her.

Coming to a sudden stop she turns to him. “I need to be alone right now, go back.”

“Rey, c’mon everything will be okay. We can take you home if you want.”

Before she can respond the sound of numerous cars caravanning down the road stops them from continuing. It’s the First Order, it must be. Together they run back BB ahead of her she allows him to push forward, hearing footsteps off to each side of them. She slows and looks around, a short laser pulse sounds and zips past her head. Rotating to its direction, she pulls the pistol from her belt and aims, quickly disengaging the safety she pulls the trigger and watches the uniformed trooper collapse.

Immediately, she turns to another and takes that one down too. She begins to run then, feeling something far more ominous nearby. Her thoughts churn so quickly, she doesn’t even know where to begin. The pistol, not a pistol, but a blaster of some kind, one she used to kill two men.

_Did I just kill two men?_

She doesn’t have time to think, the feeling gaining on her, she turns and aims recklessly into the trees in search of her pursuer. Stumbling at the sound of the saber coming to life, she turns towards the man in the black mask she had seen in her flashes. She fires repeatedly, becoming increasingly more nervous as he deflects each blast with ease. He moves in on her quickly, his large frame towering a foot above her.

Rapid fire leaves her blaster and still he gains on her. His hand rises freezing her where she stands. Her blaster now aimed lower and away from him. Her breath escapes in a quick gasp. Her eyes can follow him, but nothing more. He circles her.

“The girl I have heard so much about.”

It’s the girl he has seen in his dreams. The girl he would hunt a hundred times over to meet again and again in the seclusion of this very forest. As he admires her from behind he leans in only close enough to smell the sweat as it seeps from her skin laced with the faded smell of baby powder from her deodorant. He lingers in the closeness of her, memorizing her smell and thinking about how he’d like to get close enough to run his nose down the curve of her neck.

He continues around her, his mission far more important, until they become face to face. His saber lands eerily close to her face in a threatening maneuver, the flyaway hairs singe. Her eyes close momentarily as if to blink reality back in, but this is reality.

His voice is smug as it rasps through the mask. “Where is it?”

Hand extended towards her, he slips inside her thoughts. Sifting for anything useful he concentrates on her frozen expression and the fear within her eyes as she strains against his assault.

“You know who has it.”

Her wet eyes bat back the tears as she watches him process whatever he gains from his infiltration. He turns away when he hears explosions.

“Sir, Resistance fighters. We need more troops.” A storm trooper shouts from behind him.

“Pull the division out, we have all we need.”

With a wave of his hand Rey’s eyes close and her body falls limply into his arms. He sweeps her up and carries her bridal style back to his SUV. Climbing inside with her he disappears back into the horizon as his troops pull out behind him.

Rey blinks her eyes open immediately struggling as she recognizes the pull on her wrists and ankles. The tightness clearly sends her into a frantic panic as she shuffles her body about to loosen the restraints securing her to a chair. The room darkened it takes her a moment to realize that not far in front of her is the man in the mask, squatting down in the shadows, his breathing audible through the mask. He watches her process her predicament.

Shuffling more only causes her chair to dance on its legs. Giving into her position she looks at him again. “Where am I?”

“You’re my guest,” he says softly.

“Where are the others?”

“I don’t know, but I figure as long as you are here they won’t be far behind.” He watches her panic wane as she sits more calmly with her eyes glued to him. “You still want to kill me.”

“That happens when you are being hunted by a creature in a mask,” she spits at him, her face reddening in anger.

With an inaudible sigh, he stands and studies her momentarily before unlatching his mask and removing it. Setting it down on a nearby desk he turns to her stunned face, pleasantly surprised she seems pleased by what he has revealed to her. He has no idea if he is attractive or not, but her delicate features eyeing him bravely indicates he is at least attractive to her. Hiding a smile he looks away when her face hardens again in an attempt to remain defiant.

“Tell me what you know about the map,” he instructs.

“I didn’t see the map. I only know who has it and what it is to.”

Their eyes catch as he considers her words. He can sense her trepidation and raises a hand towards her to dive back into her mind to verify she isn’t hiding anything from him. He leans in as he searches every fold of her inner thinking. His fingers mere centimeters from her cheekbone, he almost gasps at the feeling that passes between them. Her eyes reflect sensing something as well, confirmed by her breath pausing.

“You know I can take whatever I want,” he informs her, the Force alive between them, he wonders if she is even aware of it.

Pondering if she has ever used it, he examines more of her mind. She strains against him, unknowingly pushing back. She recoils from him, but it is too late. “You’re so lonely, so afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep...”

Recalling his dream as the image before him consumes him, he watches the tears slip over her lower lid against her wishes. In his mind he sees the way she breathes when she touches herself, the way her unnaturally pink lips part before she sucks in her lower one in concentration. Envisioning the way her hand circles inside her panties. His fingertips touch down upon her cheek, fear streaks across her face, but all he sees is the lust from his dreams. His face leans in, eyes focused on her lips. Plump and pink they look so luscious he wants to nip them until they puff up before his eyes.

Concentrating so intently on his own thoughts as he tours through hers, he gets distracted until she screams at him to get out of her mind. He backs away afraid she saw his thoughts.

“You’re afraid.” She breathes deeply. “You’re the grandson of Darth Vadar?”

Shaking, he is shaking on the inside as well as out. He steps out of her line of sight to hide it. “I need that map, Rey, is it?” His voice hardens as he steels himself against her allure, reminding himself she is only a teenager and not one close in age. “When we eliminate Skywalker we will have ultimate control over the country.”

He comes around to the front of her again. “Rey, will you help me?”

Watching her shoulders move under the shuddering of her breath he locks eyes with her as she raises them up towards him. “Why the hell would I help you? You knocked me out and tied me up and fucking mind raped me.”

He sees spit spray from between her teeth as she yells at him. He steps backwards away from her. “You feel it too, I know you do.”

She inhales beginning to weep openly before him. “I just want to go home. Please let me go home, Ren.”

“You know my name?” he questions, unsurprised somehow when she cries harder at his question. He isn’t imagining it, there is something between them and she feels it too. Has she ever seen him in her dreams?

She looks up at his face and swallows hard. “Let me go.”

“I cannot afford to do so, you know this.”

A knock sounds on his door. He looks over his shoulder towards the door and then back. He falls onto his knees before her, their faces only inches apart now that he is lower to the ground. He feels less intimidating this way. He’s not going to miss the opportunity. Pulling her face towards him with his palms on both of her cheeks he rests his lips against hers, as sigh of relief escapes him at the feel of her. He doesn’t mistake the feel of her lips tensing against his in response, the slight puckering that happens when someone returns a kiss. He pulls away so quickly their lips smack noisily in absence of each other.

“You…” A knock sounds more hastily against his door the second time. This time he ignores it. “You kissed back. I’ll be back soon. I’ll figure something out.” The last of his words meant more for himself as he thinks out loud answering the door to cease the interruption. Snoke wants to see him. He already knows. With instruction to a trooper outside his door to protect Rey, he leaves to debrief Snoke on the turn of events, everything minus the kiss.

_You kissed back… You kissed back…_

You kissed him back, she says to herself over and over again. Every fiber of her being wants to be repulsed; disgusted by him and the way he stole her first kiss. Somehow she can’t find herself feeling that way entirely. Robbed, yes, but the sensation of him when they touch speaks too clearly to her. The way their energy radiates off of one another must mean something and that kiss, no matter how impromptu it was, was right.

The trooper instructed to watch her steps into the room, a rare invitation, and looks about as he takes post near the door. She observes him, her mind swimming with so many different pathways until she lands on one, one that has her subconscious speaking. 

“You will remove these restraints and leave with the door open,” she instructs her personal guard who turns towards her.

“I will tighten those restraints,” he threatens, pointing his blaster at her.

Calming herself with a deep breath, she refocuses and tries again. “You will remove these restraints and leave with the door open.”

Surprisingly, he repeats what she says and moves in to loosen the restraints before he turns to leave. “And you’ll drop your weapon.”

Again, the guard does as requested and repeats her words back to her almost robotically. She jumps from the chair and runs towards the door. Scooping up a much larger blaster than the one she had previously she sneaks from the room and explores to find a way out.

The pounding in her chest resonates all the way up into her ears deflecting her ability to focus as she runs about finding her way to the back of the massive building. She backs away as the size of the estate comes into view through tear blurred vision. This isn’t a regular large house, this is a fortress.

Ren, finding the open door and lack of guards peculiar, steps into his room. Finding the empty chair with slackened ropes around the legs he spins quickly. Assessing she isn’t there he grabs the chair and smashes it violently to the ground. It shatters like glass into hundreds of splinters as he screams for assistance from the guards who are hesitant to go in.

Storming from his room, Forcing it to slam behind him, he streaks down the hallway out into the atrium. The first guard he sees he demands to hunt her down.

“Sir, sensors in the back gardens have been tripped, we are searching there now.” Another guard says rounding the corner.

“She’s just beginning to test her powers. The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.” Rage seeps through him as he screams at the guards like a pissed off toddler in the middle of a tantrum.

His breathing ragged from anger, he tries to steady himself. He can’t be this angry and sense her. He steps before the large plate glass window overlooking the gardens and begins searching for her inside the labyrinth of plants.

As she scurries around in near darkness, she continues to head as far away from the estate as she can. The grounds are enormous and the gardens the largest she has ever seen; never so many plants in one place, let alone ones that construct a maze and impede her way out. She turns each corner briskly, sometimes stepping backwards around corners when she thinks she hears a snapping twig behind her.

Finn happens to be around one such corner she back around and nearly knocks him to the ground. Han and Chewie are with him and she squeals happily before she remembers where they are.

“You came for me?”

“It was his idea.” Han thumbs towards Finn who shrugs embarrassedly.

She throws her arms around him and hugs him until he hugs her back. “Thank you.”

“Sure, it was the right thing to do,” he says with a smile. “Let’s get the hell out of here. We don’t have much time.”

“I agree, let’s ditch this place,” Han says looking up to a balcony where he sees Ren walking.

Rey and Finn’s eyes follow the path of Han’s. Upon seeing Ren they hear the troopers swarm them from another row of bushes Chewie starts shooting at them. Rey pulls her blaster up and begins shooting in the other direction. Danger eliminated momentarily, Rey and Finn look at one another again, and then up towards the balcony where Han is approaching Ren from behind.

“Ben!”

He turns at the sound of his birth name fists balled at his side by the voice accompanying it. Han approaches him tentatively. Ren stares him down through his mask; certain Han can feel his rage seething inside even without being a Force user.

“Han Solo, I’ve waited a long time for this moment.”

“Take off that mask. You don’t need it,” Han demands of his son.

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” His voice rasps as he speaks.

“The face of my son,” Han responds, moving in closer to him.

Releasing his mask with a hiss, he pulls it over his head revealing the man version of the boy Han last saw. Dark locks fall shaggy around his face, his dark eyes honing in on Han’s.

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him.”

Han steps in one more time. “That’s what Snoke wants you to believe, but it’s not true. My son is alive. Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants he’ll crush you. You know it’s true.”

Face twitching to fight back the emotions seeing his father brings, he nearly chokes as he speaks. “No, the supreme leader is wise and it’s too late.”

Han shakes his head. “It isn’t, come home. We miss you.”

The shakes are beginning again. His voice trembling as he speaks. “I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.”

“You can still come home.”

Stepping backwards, Ren shakes his head. “You betrayed me.”

Han steps nearer yet again. “Ben.”

It happens so quickly then. The swarm of darkness and pain hearing his birth name unleashes drowns his heart and mind in inky blackness that he cannot reign in. A blanket of darkness wraps around his internal wounds. His mind shrinks down to one clean line of thought; clean, yet evil.

His light saber has found its way to his palm, firmly gripped his thumb on the igniter. _Ben_ echoes in the forefront of his mind again and without hesitation he ignites his saber. It impales his father straight through the chest and for a brief moment, relief surges throughout him. The tug of his body when pulls the saber out is a reminder that Han is actually there and not an illusion. He stares into his father’s eyes as he tumbles over the stone railing, falling to the ground and out of view.

He can hear _her_ screaming _no_. Seeing in her mind the way she admired Han, looked up to him like a father in only the briefest amount of time she’d known him. She was already aware of him previously, from stories of his smuggling. She was impressed by him, and she watched as he killed his own father. He _killed_ his father. A deed no amount of darkness can hide.

Enraged by everything happening, he storms through the gardens, sensing Rey and Finn’s energy. Pursuing them until he can move ahead and take them by surprise, happy when he sees their faces stunned to see him when they round the last corner leaving them in an open space within the garden. He has his saber in hand already ignited.

“We’re not done yet,” he says his eyes locked on Rey’s attempting to decipher what she is thinking. “It’s just us now, Han Solo can’t save you.”

Disappointed to see her raise the stolen blaster towards him, he Forces it from her hands and then throws her backwards where she lands roughly and completely limp.

Finn, running to her crying her name, attempts to ensure she isn’t seriously injured, but the sound of Ren’s saber moving stops him. He turns to him.

“Traitor!” Ren screams at him.

Finn, looking between Ren and Rey, turns his attention then to the saber he was given by Maz for protection. Igniting it, he takes a fighting stance and offers him a visual challenge.

Ren feels his rage multiply seeing Luke’s saber in the hands of a traitor. “That light saber, it belongs to me.”

“Come and get it then,” Finn challenges.

Their sabers clash as they lunge and dodge each other. Going in rounds reveals Ren has an injury on his side from a recent scuffle with Chewie in the time Finn and Rey were running. Everything blurring in their haste to escape, Chewie must have gone after him when he killed Han.

Ren snarls as he puts everything he has into removing Finn from the equation. It would leave him with only Rey. Rey, the one he needs to be on his side. Finn steps the wrong way, the terrain unexpectedly rough opens Ren up to strike one last time as he stumbles. The hit sends Finn face forward against the Earth as the saber he was wielding rolls away.

Success, he thinks raising his hand towards it watching as it begins to tremble on the ground. It lifts into the air suddenly and even more so speeds past his face and into Rey’s hand. Turning towards her, he has to fight smiling at seeing her as she explores her power. He admires the way she cautiously takes a stance ready to take him on, igniting the saber, she jumps at the sound of it coming alive.

She gives him a stern look even though he can see how terrified she is. He can sense how new and awkward it is to her. He can remember what it was like, and he wishes nothing more than to watch her grow into her abilities. However, his talk with Snoke was not one of promise. He might admire her, and even want to keep her, but as it stands she is a dangerous entity. Keeping her alive only means Skywalker would not be the only other Force user. He is drawn in by the dark, while she represents something much lighter.

His thoughts are thrown when she charges. Sabers clashing they move back and forth between each power exchange, one leading the other before it switches again. Watching her weaken he pushes her up against a tree at the edge of the clearing. Their sabers holding against each other, spitting sparks between their faces.

“You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force,” he offers, feeling her innate raw power, finding Snoke’s command of killing her to be wasteful. If only he could pull her to his side, he can saver her.

She stares into his eyes as if reading his thoughts. He waits for a response appreciating the beauty of her face illuminated by their clashing sabers. “Please.”

An abrupt surge of energy flows through her as she lunges forward, throwing him backwards, stumbling on his feet. He backs away from her as her swings increasingly shove him back until he falls and he gets sliced down the side of his face, his saber tumbling from his hand. He glances at it as she towers over him this time. Their eyes meet as she holds the saber high above her ready to strike.

Softness passes through her then, her eyes liquid meet his as she lowers the saber to her side. She could have killed him, but she chose against it; that pesky light saving his life through her. She drops beside him as she eyes his wound. His large palm finds the side of her hip gathering her attention. Her face comes back to his, but he isn’t sure what he can say.

“You’re wounded,” her concerned voice eeks out. “I can’t do anything. There is nothing.” A single tear slips over the lower lid of her right eye as her panic rises.

“Rey, it’ll be fine. I’ve been hurt worse than this,” he grumbles unsure of her concern. “Why didn’t you…”

“If I killed you, would you still be in my dreams?” she whispers, her eyes ashamed and turned down towards the space between them.

“No, I don’t believe so. You’re in mine also,” he admits.

She looks back at his face, finding what he knows has to be sadness resting there. Leaning over him, her hand presses to his shoulder as her face inclines towards his, pausing only to say. “I’ve longed to do this.” She speaks with her focus on his lips, but he doesn’t care. Her lips land so softly to his, he almost questions if they are actually touching.

Opening his eyes for a moment his hand leaves her hip and finds the side of her face, his thumb strumming along the line of her cheekbone, he pulls her in closer. Eyes closed again he hears her grunt softly as she falls into him, their lips filled with so much pressure then it forces them to slip apart. There is no time to think twice, he pulls that beautiful bottom lip of hers into his mouth and gives it one gentle suck as he traces along it with the tip of his tongue.

For a short time he revels in the way her lips tastes and feels. Stunned when he feels her pull away to do the same to him, her dainty tongue curiously grazing along his lip has him growing hard and no amount of redirected thought can curb it. He isn’t embarrassed, he doesn’t care. He wants her to be aware of the reaction he has to her touch. As soon as he is confident this is going his way, she shoves away from him.

“Finn!”

She jumps up from him and races over to Finn finding him injured, but alive. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Her words sting as he watches her tend to another man. “Rey, he’ll live. The Resistance will fix him up good as new.”

“What? How?” She glares over her shoulder at him.

“Oh, my Rey, how naïve you are, have you been hiding under a rock? Do you not understand the world at all?” he questions sitting up, cringing in pain, his hand presses to his side. He can see her expression worried again as she watches him.

“I guess not.” She rests on her knees, her bottom balanced on the heels of her shoes. “I’m only fifteen, what the hell am I even supposed to know?”

“Come here.” He waves her over, watching her hesitate with her attention between Finn and himself, his mind willing her to choose him. “Rey.”

She rises and returns to his side, a numbness in her, she falls limply to her knees again. “You are safer in my dreams.”

Her words hit him hard. Regretting immediately his ability to see into one’s thoughts as he watches her accept she can have no comfortable contact with him. She is aware he is no good for her. He can’t convince her now. “I know.”

There isn’t anything he can say to her as she kneels at his side, her concern on Finn. Torn between a friend and the new connection that somehow ties them, she has a tornado of ideas whirling in circles as she tries to grasp just one. One thought she can hold solid in her mind to stabilize her soul.

The sound of car approaching the backside of the estate brings them both back to reality. Their eyes meet one more time sharing a mutual longing neither can yet explain. The car grows closer as they lean instinctively towards one another, pulled by the energy that binds them, completely unaware they are inclining towards one another. So close they can feel each other’s breath. The car screeches to a stop and feet sound across the distant lawn.

Stuck in a visual embrace, the only thing that breaks it is the sound of explosions in the front of the estate. Three explosions in and he can already guess his fleet of SUVs is demolished. They both turn towards the house, seeing smoke flowing into the sky. Rey goes to stand, the explosion pulling her from his visual grasp, his hand secures itself around her wrist pulling her back towards him.

He catches her face in the hold of his palm again. “Kiss me one more time, before this moment ends. I just need one more to remember you by.”

Surprised at the way she lunges into his arms, he catches her, groaning at the way her knee hits him in his wound. He pulls her in still. He doesn’t even need to feel more than the simplest kiss, not tongue, not sucking on her lip; only her mouth to his sealing them together as they filter strange new sensations to each other in an almost cosmic way.

Just as quickly as she was there in his arms, she was gone again. Running away from him towards the sound of what must be Resistance approaching. He needs to move now. Get up and get away before they arrive to take Finn. He would kill him, but he hasn’t the time or the energy.

He makes it far enough away to hide in the shadows as he watches Finn get gathered up by Resistance fighters. Rey nervously bounces around to get a better view, checking on him. Jealously sweeps through him until he sees her turn around, her eyes somehow find his in the shadows as her hand falls over her heart in one last moment to connect before she is gone.

The girl of his dreams, swept away into the night by none other than his enemy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taking me so long to get these chapters up. I am in a lot of chaos at the moment. I hope you are enjoying everything so far. Don't worry it'll get spicier!

The soft rumble of the car engine numbs the ride. Rey stares out into the darkened sky through a blacked out window. The stars pin pointing designs across the horizon keeping her eyes busy while they caravan with the group of Resistance that has picked up their small group. Sitting in the back of someone’s car she hasn’t been introduced to with Finn’s head in her lap, his body laid out on the back row of seats with her, she wonders just what in the hell has actually happened in the last couple of days.

Every few minutes she licks her lips. The saltiness of his dried saliva dances on her tongue and does something to her core she has only barely felt before from anyone. A wad of anxious, but eager energy rotates and throbs somewhere within her stomach when she thinks about his touch. Imagining him touching her in other ways sends bursts of incredible sensations towards the center of her vagina. The kind of vibes that has her core molten as she feels the crotch of her panties slowly grow wet; suddenly, very aware of her need to shower and change clothes.

She keeps reminding herself as her fingers stroke the side of Finn’s face soothingly that Ren is the enemy. Her mind knows this, but her genitals and heart do not agree. Her attractions to him not even her main concern. What about the saber hilt resting against her thigh on the seat? The fact she called it to her with so much ease it blew past Ren’s dismayed face. It was as though she betrayed him, or maybe he felt the saber did. His face is burned into her memory staring at her for the briefest moment with his jaw gaping before he smiled the fastest smile she’s seen on anyone.

He wears a mask even when he has his helmet removed, and she now knows she breaks through it when in his presence. Ren is not the kind to smile pleased by her actions if there is no appreciation for her. He is not the kind to kiss his enemy, not the kind to beg for one more kiss. He’s too old for her. She’s basically a child by compare and in no position to feel what she does for him. Feelings she has no description or label for other than simply being aroused by him in more than the traditional sense.

Finn groans in pain grabbing her attention. She holds his head in her hands and hushes him, asking him to stay still, telling him they were on their way for help. His eyes never open but he shuffles some falling back asleep. She’s grateful his wounds have taken enough out of him he isn’t struggling to escape any pain, at least nothing that she can see on the surface. The other passengers look at her from the front as she speaks.

“We’ll be there soon.”

Rey nods and goes back to her thoughts about Ren. Fuck, she thinks, she should be focusing on the fact she can use the Force, not Ren. The fucking Force! Does that make her a Jedi or…? What does she do now? She doesn’t know anything about it. Up until the last 24 hours or so, she only knew of it in fantasies. The Resistance and the First Order were simply opposing factions in a power struggle for controlling the government and therefore the country. Clearly, there is more beneath the surface, but no matter that, it still makes Ren her enemy because she has been taken in by the Resistance.

Everyone has heard of both factions. Most think of their opposition as normal since it’s overridden the previous government parties. It’s been a clear divide since before Rey was born. That’s about all she has ever invested of her interest into it previously. Accepting it was the norm herself, she never scratched the surface for a deeper understanding. What the hell did it matter to her? She was just a bored teenager waiting for her parents to return and yank her out of a system that has been corrupt for so long, no one even dared to change it.

She is just a typical teenager with sprouting new feelings that mingle with hormones that has her getting herself off most nights just so she can attempt to sleep. It’s not a bad thing, she knows that, but she felt obsessed with it for a while until she saw him. It was a strange experience. On the verge of cumming and his face a blur in the corner of her mind, she was excited at the idea of him watching.

Though, at the time, she thought she had made him up. A combination of all the things she finds attractive in the opposite sex. She didn’t think he was real. His image always distant, imagined, it was supposed to be pretend. That changed when he removed his mask and she saw the look in his eyes that reminded her of her dreams. Lucid dreams, that were filled with the boundaries of her inner psyche.

His dark eyes, brown and murky with an energy she could never previously place, watched her so intently while she touched herself. She imagined she was putting on a show for her personal voyeur. It helped her on nights she couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt to orgasm, but wasn’t as into it otherwise. Those eyes of his were filled with lust and longing. That was the only good thing that darkened them, because the other was the energy she saw, she now knows was the dark side of the Force.

He nearly killed her new friend. Finn must be a friend if he was willing to track her down, right? She hasn’t had many of those. Han! Oh, God, Han. He’s dead, killed by Ren so easily. He didn’t think twice. All he had to do was impale him on the blood red saber he carries with its unique cross guard. Remembering how he fell from that balcony brings tears to her eyes that she strains to keep hidden. She isn’t the type to cry over what she can’t change, especially not in front of anyone. It had always helped when she could keep her distance from people.

She cried in front of Ren, she thinks, as their caravan pulls off onto a dirt road the gravel crunching loudly beneath their tires. Looking around as the cars pull up to a compound of buildings gated in by a perimeter of twelve foot fencing topped with barbed wire, she forgets about Ren for the moment and looks at her fellow passengers.

“Get the girl to Leia.” One of the men instructs another, handing the light saber over as he waves medics over to collect Finn.

“My friend?” Rey asks, being tugged away and into a mass of Resistance fighters to the epicenter of their war room, voices mumbling as she passes through the crowd.

“Medics will drop him into a bacta tank. He’ll be alright come tomorrow,” the man insists plainly his hand wrapped around her arm above her elbow as he tugs her along quickly, the saber in view in his other hand.

The war room is filled with beeping electronics and workers monitoring different devices. Very technical, and BB is already there in a corner with a short woman dressed mildly formal. She stands there watching the commotion as the workers bounce around from station to station with stats and updates, pointing at screens in attempt of deciphering who knows what. When BB notices her, he motions to her and the woman looks towards her with a gentle, motherly smile.

“General, this is Rey,” BB introduces them. “Rey, General Organa.”

With a humored smirk towards BB, who bows out of their meeting red-cheeked, she replies, “Call me Leia. It’s nice to meet you, Rey. I bet this is a world of change isn’t it?”

Rey nods slowly looking around once more. She leans in and whispers, “Do they all use the Force?”

Leia grins, clearly humored by her question. “No, the Force finds it ways to those who are sensitive to it. Ones that are intended to stabilize the energy that lives around and within us.”

“But, then why is there a bad side?”

“Balance is in constant struggle. Without the light there isn’t a dark. Likewise without the dark there is no light. It’s the binding of the two that creates the balance. It’s a struggle that likely has no resolve. Both are necessary,” Leia explains as she begins to walk after she is handed the light saber.

Rey observes Leia as she turns the saber hilt in her fragile hands trying to keep up with her. “Is it important?”

Leia glances up through her lashes at Rey. “My brother’s.”

The realization sinking in, Rey blushes. Of course she should recognize Leia. Less known because she never finished the _mythical_ training to become a part of the _nonexistent_ Jedi, that was all a very real after all. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize at first. This is all incredibly unbelievable.”

“Yet, all incredibly true. I know that the First Order has spent decades burying the existence of the Jedi, but Luke can change all of that if we can bring him home.” Leia continues to walk as she speaks, Rey just behind her trying to take it all in as they leave the building and cross the compound to another. “You can change it. You have already met my son.”

“Who’s your son?” she asks, nearly bumping into her when she stops beside a door that is in row with numerous others down a long hallway inside the second building.

Leia stands silently until Rey focuses on her face. “Ben Solo, he goes by Ren these days and he is the right hand to Snoke.”

“Ren is your son?” Rey blanches at the thought until another thought enters her mind. Leia is a force user, and if Ren could read her mind, can she?

Dipping her head from Rey’s scared eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed. I’m hoping your ability to get through to him will bring him home also, no matter the means. It’s too late for us to be too picky or judgemental.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I can’t sense things as clearly as my son, but I can get enough of a read on the two of you to know something is there. First, however, we must begin your training. “Leia pulls Rey’s hand open and places the saber into her palm. “You will have to find my brother. BB’s brother has already cracked half of the code encrypting the map. We’ll have to send you alone it’ll be less conspicuous that way.”

“Now? But…” Rey hesitates, glancing inside the room seeing the layout resembles a fairly comfortable, but plain hotel room.

Leia offers her another humored smile. “No, my child, tonight you need to clean up and rest. So many things have happened to you I am sure you need time to process it. Tomorrow we will see how you feel and go from there.”

Rey smiles back, shaking her head at the fact she hasn’t quite absorbed everything from the surface. “Thank you.”

Leia places a room key into Rey’s hand and wishes her goodnight. Inside, Rey finds the comforts of a warm shower and a nice snack before she climbs in bed in only a clean pair of panties. Relieved, yet torn between so many new experiences. Killing men, being kidnapped, fighting back, these aren’t traits of hers. Being a confused and horny teenager seems so much easier and somehow less embarrassing than it felt before. She’s always been so good at being honest with herself, but she knows that at this point, none of those things are going to settle in all too well or too quickly.

The one thing she does have control over is her and with that her thoughts drift to Ren and his lips. The feel of them pressed to hers being so magnetic, and yet so sweet, she wonders what his tongue would have felt like tangling inside her mouth with her own. She wanted to climb onto his lap and straddle him in order to feel closer. Her arms wanted to wrap around his neck and hold him in against her body. She wanted to gyrate herself over him, and what she knows must be an enormous girth in the crotch of his pants when he is excited.

She would have let him. It would have been easy to. Her mind wasn’t concerned with any of the recent events when she was near him at the end of their encounter; only him.

Ren’s forehead presses against the gray, marbled tile of his in suite shower. The cool water streams over his shoulder blades as he lets the sting of the water hitting the wound he was left with from the encounter dull to a small tingle. He’ll require stitches and a bacta treatment, but there will be a scar even then. He hasn’t taken the time to hit the medic, his other needs requiring his immediate attention.

No amount of pain prevents his flaccid member from becoming fully erect at the memory of the look she had in her eyes the last time he held them with his. The intensity of her concern has him quickly grabbing himself and pulling along his length. The feel of her lips lingering in his mind gives life to the pit of his stomach as he pictures her naked and beneath him. He doesn’t last long unsure if it’s merely the memory of her lips, the fact she is too young for him, or is it her being her? He’ll take her anyway she comes. He smirks to himself when the thought crosses his mind… as long as she cums.

His eyes pinch closed as his body comes down. He can see her face inside his memory still. Her sweet, slightly rounded cheeks and plump lips draw him in as she watches him in frustration. The movement of her shoulders has his attention tracing downwards where he can see her touching herself beneath the cover of her sheets. Her lips pop apart with a muffled moan. Even when he opens his eyes, she is still there in his mind. The same wanton look upon her face.

Reaching his hand towards her, his fingertips hitting only the wet tile before him, her spare hand reaches towards him in response. Can she see him? It isn’t much, merely a hint of a connection, but the o-shape of her mouth and her hand outstretched, reaching for him, has him gripping his hardening cock. He hasn’t gotten hard again this fast since he was fifteen, but fuck, she is so beautiful when she touches herself he can’t help himself. Never wanting anything more than her, he treats himself too roughly as he strokes.

Wondering if she can tell he is with her and jerking off to her masturbating, he whispers her name. Her eyes smile while her lips close momentarily in concentration, her lower lip slowly being sucked in between her teeth, her movements increase in speed. His hand stroking his erection as he focuses on the shades of her cheeks, the redder they become he hopes means she is getting close.

“Rey, if you can hear me, cum for me,” he whispers, his own efforts highlighting the head of his cock in his tight grip as her chin thrusts upwards.

Her face slackens after a minute, though he can tell she is still touching herself gently unwinding from her orgasm. His seed spills over the back of his hand, her placid face smiling in his direction.

“Rey, can you hear me?” he questions. His orgasm now passing he is almost embarrassed.

Her eyes slip closed as her breathing evens and slows. Hand palm down to her bare stomach, her face drifts off to the side falling asleep. He clicks his tongue at himself as he shakes his head. Dammit, Rey, he thinks. She didn’t hear him, but damn it sure felt like she did. Maybe the best jerkfest he has given himself in some time, but he is growing tired of his hand. The idea of her such a better feeling even when she isn’t actually there.

Drying off and slipping on a clean pair of boxers, he slides into his silken sheets and rests on the plush pillow at the head of his bed. Thinking about how she is only fifteen, and how he shouldn’t be thinking of her so sexually. Fine, she’s attractive and sexy in her own adorable way, and that is okay, but wanting to actually slip his dick inside of her is where he knows the boundary should be respectfully drawn.

Then he reminds himself he is Kylo Ren, Sith lord. When the hell did he follow traditional rules? If he wants to sink into the tight warmth of the creamy center between her thighs, he is going to fucking do so.

Leia made sure Rey was fed well before equipping her with a copy of the map, Luke’s light saber and a few changes of clothes and supplies. Driving, underage no less, in the least obvious car they have, she attempts to read the map on the cellular phone she was given. Leia had called it a beacon or something or rather that was in sync with her phone so they would be able to track her if something were to go wrong.

What could go wrong finding a man who wants to remain unfound? The same man who’s saber sits beside her on the seat along her thigh. She has blood on her conscience now, a forbidden relationship budding somewhere deep inside her mind, or maybe in reality somewhere? She will have to somehow use her time driving to accept every sudden change thrust upon her.

Fuck this! She shouts it into the car as though anyone could hear her and swoop in and put everything back in order. Order, fucking First Order! She was raised to believe they had the better interest of the country in mind, that the Resistance is the bad one crossing the grain, making life more difficult. But no, that isn’t the way of it.

Ren haunts her thoughts. No matter where they drift he is right there, his bold eyes determined and unwavering latching onto her, persuading her to choose him. Every moment she should be spending on the fact she killed two men, or that she has this profound new ability, somehow always centers on him. She killed _his_ men. She is tracking down _his_ uncle to discover her ability. The teenager inside of her hung up on _his_ kiss, her first one. Everywhere all at once, he saturates her thoughts so heavily, she longs for the days where she was able to ignore people.

He has so much power over her she isn’t sure how to take it away from him. How can one person infiltrate and define so much of your being after one encounter? A fucked up encounter no less, where he tried to steal information from the depths of her mind, yet turned around and kissed her as though he had been waiting a lifetime to suck on her lip that way. For that matter, why only her lip in that way? Where was her traditional kiss, tongue in all?

It takes over a week to track down Luke’s location to an isolated island off the coast of Mexico. The air on the precipice of storms all the time, she lands the boat she rented and anchors it to a tree before scaling the hills that are cut into with sharp rock ledges. Following the curving path up towards the top where she finds a few small huts and a man with his hoodie pulled up. He stares out across the tumultuous waters on the north end of the island as she approaches.

His head cocks sideways at the sound of her, only turning once she comes to a stop just behind. She doesn’t need an introduction; she can feel it is him. Holding his saber up towards him he eyes her face, then the saber and back to her face, never exposing an expression. She hoists it closer to him. Proceeding to take it from her, he chuckles to himself tossing it over his shoulder with ease before wandering away from her.

Flabbergasted by his action, she stares over the cliff edge for a moment, then turns to watch him walk away. “Um, Luke, your sister Leia sent me!”

She calls out running after him. Following him up to a hut where the door is promptly shut in her face. She huffs and folds her arms. This is going so well, she thinks, now what?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, time has flown these last couple of weeks. My apologies on the lateness of my posting. I am putting up two chapters tonight to make up for it! Enjoy!

Six Months Later…

“Would you stop doing that already?” Ren’s aggravated voice barrels off the stone walls of Rey’s hut with the sounds of waves crashing in the distance along a rock infused beach.

Rey’s eyes fly open. She yanks her hand from the inside of her panties and scoots away from the sound of his voice. Scanning the small space she pulls the sheet tightly up to her throat, covering up while finding no one there.

“Like that’ll help?” Indignantly huffing to himself he paces his room. It’s been six months and he has barely seen her. When she did appear it was so brief and clouded all he could detect was her tending to herself as usual. It has been driving him mad not being able to see her more clearly, to enjoy her more thoroughly; reliving their kiss repeatedly within his imagination.

“Ren?” The softness of her voice palpates the empty space void of most comforts other than a bed and a few blankets; a chair solitarily sits in the corner.

Jumping at the sound of his name his eyes take her in again, picturing her perfectly this time. “Rey?”

“How are you doing this?”

Pausing at her question, he looks in the general direction she would be if she were in his room. “You have been training… with Luke? I could tell when I stopped seeing you.”

“He warned me about you. Told me everything I will ever need to know.” Her cracking voice distracts her from getting an answer to her question.

“Yet, I can hear how much you miss me. My name is caught on the tip of your tongue every time you touch yourself. Thinking about how my fingers would feel pressed against your delicate flesh. You wonder how wet I can make you when you drench yourself with merely the thought of me.” Voice deepening as he speaks he smiles at the way her face relaxes even though he was mostly guessing.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Are we really so different? I speak about the things you imagine, and you do imagine them well. So very, very frequently… if only we could meet and I could do all those things you imagine, all the things I imagine doing, to you.” He exhales hard at the thought, hoping he is right that she is still actively pleasing herself to thoughts of him.

“You may be fun to get off by, but we are enemies and nothing more.”

“Are we? You think Luke was honest with you about me? That I enjoyed being scraped off the family tree and dropped on my ass to fend for myself? Snoke may not be the most savory of advisors to your Resistance, but he fed me, housed me, and trained me. He took me off the streets, Rey. I had no one and nowhere.” He glares, coldly wishing she didn’t have her guard so well trained against him so she could see more clearly the depth of her words.

Rey growls under her breath. “You could have come home. They wanted you to. Your father, he loved you. I still don’t understand how you could…”

“He abandoned me, Rey. Just like your parents did to you,” he snaps angrily. He doesn’t want to think about his father, regret always lingering nearby.

“Your parents wanted you back, and mine… they’ll never want me again.”

“And here you are waiting anyway. Secretly yearning to go back home to your foster parents so they can find you. Why? Drifters in the night you were their burden. You weighed them down and they discarded you because of it. You must realize that one day. Your real parents are never coming back for you.”

“You don’t know any of that, and I would never go back to my fosters even if I thought it would get me closer to my parents.”

“Rey, look into your memories. You know they abandoned you or I wouldn’t.” He imagines tears slick her cheeks the need to sweep them dry for her seeps through him. “You know we are a pair. We need each other whether you choose to believe it, you can feel that.”

“No,” she spits at him, the crying evident in her voice as he suspected. “No, we’re not.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I don’t want to be your enemy,” he says as gently as his deep tone will allow.

“Don’t call me sweetheart… you _are_ my enemy.”

“I’m not. We’re two of a very few who can feel the pulse of all of life. We’re close in age, and we can read each other so easily. You can’t hide it. You can’t hide from me.” He feels himself unravelling with worry for her, pausing at her silence to pull himself together. He hasn’t stopped thinking about her in all these months. That last kiss opening up something between them he has desperately tried to understand, coming to the conclusion that he needs her.

“Ren?” She clears her throat after a long beat.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Do you watch me often?”

He pauses again, hesitant to give her a real answer, wondering if she realizes how confusing it is for him the way she changes the subject. “No, not often, it’s been harder to do so the more you work with Luke. I only get the slightest images. You are a fast learner. I could be a better teacher though.”

“Why do you watch me at all? I’m nobody. Not really anyway. I’m just some foster kid. Force aside I’m nothing to you,” she trails off.

A twinge in his heart reminds him of his overinflated feelings for her. He isn’t sure he can answer reasonably, because he isn’t sure himself why. He has never conveyed anything of the like to anyone previously.

“You are not, nothing, Rey. Not to me. I don’t know how to articulate the best answer for you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Isn’t that enough?”

“No, not for me. Maybe you should go back to Snoke and figure out who you’ll be killing tomorrow.”

Her words bite into him. “How quickly you forget the two men you killed.” He snarls at her.

“To save my life!”

“They lost theirs,” he says stiffly.

“You are impossible.”

“Then stop fighting with me and come to me instead.” His words taking a softer edge.

“They will never let me go, Ren. They want to change things. They think I’m going to do something big. I have no idea what they expect from me, but they won’t let me go. They will always come for me.”

Feeling for her, knowing exactly what she is going through, he lets off a sympathetic sigh. “They want you to do what I can, only for them. Eventually, they would send you after Snoke or me. The difference is you have a conscience and a heart and I’m not as fortunate. I don’t care about what I have to go through to keep my place here. I doubt you can say the same.”

“You think they are using me?” She sniffles.

“It doesn’t matter what I think. You know they are. The only thing keeping you there is the only thing keeping me here.”

“What’s that?”

“Being wanted and needed,” he admits quietly. “Do you even care about the political divide this war is being fought for?”

“Of course I do. I want a fair government. I want the people’s right restored,” she argues.

He nods at her words. “And I’m happy with the way things are. Snoke provides for his faithful followers. You’d see that if you would give it a shot. You would be happy. Weren’t you before you were picked up by the Resistance rats?”

“I was blind and naïve and they are not rats.”

“You will come to me when you realize they don’t love you.” He breathes confidently.

“You don’t love me either. I just turn you on.” She pulls the blanket tighter around her.

“But I can if you let me.”

A response doesn’t come. Shutting him out comes too easily to her, he thinks. Smelling the brine from the ocean air he wonders how far away she is, the smell of her arousal he interrupted her from lingering in the air as well. Tired of jerking off, he resigns on finding her and convincing her to leave the Resistance. For whatever reason the Force has them connected he intends to see it through.

It’s one of the few days the sun is visible through an openly blue sky on the island. Luke watches as Rey goes through her forms, correcting her as she moves into each proceeding step. The awkwardness of the Force and its use of weaponry become more familiar with each session helping everything feel less science fiction and more realistic.

The same as her conversation with Ren, attempting to persuade her to believe she is only a tool at the Resistance’s disposal. The very idea has her moving with every bit of might her small body can give. When they meet again she wants him to know how useful she is. He’ll understand how needed she is. Every day she grows more eager to prove to him she is worth something more.

“Wow. What has gotten into you?” Luke asks stepping away from a tumbling rock formation she is taking her anger out on.

Red-cheeked and chest heaving she wipes the sweat from her face with the back of her arm. “I’m ready to do this! To prove myself.”

Luke eyes her with concern as he steps around the rubble at his feet. “Prove what?

“That I am someone and not just some humanized weapon.”

“Rey,” he starts, watching her pant heavily with her exertion as he tries to understand. “He’s been speaking to you, hasn’t he?”

Looking back at him she continues to breathe heavily.

“He is a very dangerous person. You need to block him from your thoughts or he will continue to poison you,” Luke demands quickly ending their session he turns and walks away.

She follows. “Why is he so dangerous?”

“I quit training him, because the amount of power he possesses is frightening. Watching you now I am starting to remember why.” He continues up the hill towards his hut, Rey hot on his heels.

“He’s right isn’t he, they are just using me,” she yells over the rumble of the incoming storm clouds, taking a minute to look up at the darkening sky.

Stepping inside his doorway just as the rain begins he turns back to her. “The Resistance needs you, Rey. The question you have to answer is do you need them? Only you can decide that, and only I can tell you if you trust him things will not turn out the way you think. He is so consumed by darkness I nearly killed him myself.”

Standing in the rain staring at the door just slammed in her face she considers his words.

_Does she need them?_

Trekking down the hill, gravity pushing her along with the wind from the rain, she mumbles to herself frustrated. Stopping on a cliff ledge near her hut, a clear vision of him standing in his room shirtless appears. She chokes as she examines his toned upper body.

“I’d rather not do this now,” she insists.

“Yeah, me either… not enough sense to come in out of the rain?” He provokes her anger.

“Shut up, won’t you?” Stepping inside her hut with him in the back of her mind she peels her shirt off and quickly wraps herself into a blanket. Then she strips off her lower half ignoring his presence until she sits on her bed with nothing more to do than dry finding him smirking at her. “Please, you’ve seen worse of me.”

“I’m sorry, you are right, of course. What’s wrong then?”

Tucking the blanket together at the top of her chest, she pulls her loose wet strands from her face. “I don’t know anything. Do this, go here, learn that, pulled in every direction, but I don’t have any idea which way to go. And I’m pretty sure Luke is losing his mind from isolation.”

He lets off a slight chuckle. “Why is that?”

“He mentioned attempting to kill you.”

“He did. That was when I decided it was time to move on from my so-called family. Not what you were expecting?

“I’m leaving,” she whispers. “I don’t know where I am going, but I’m leaving and don’t even say it. I’m not coming to you.”

His shoulders drop as he sits on the side of his plush bed. “That’s incredibly stupid, Rey. At least I could keep you off the streets and with a belly full of food. You’re fifteen, where the hell else can you go?”

Insulted she crosses her arms and glares. “Call me stupid again maybe I’ll change my mind.”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s not safe.”

“Seriously?”

Rolling his eyes at her he lays back on his bed. “Fine, still not what I meant. I know you can defend yourself. I just meant it is one thing to physically defend yourself; it’s another to take care of your well-being.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Ren… this from you of all people? I have spent the last six months training to fight you because you are supposed to be this dark villainous asshole. Six months listening to how many people have died and been tortured for Snoke’s sake at your hands. Six months of it. You are not the hero. You’re a horny asshole who likes younger girls, be honest.” She barely keeps herself from shouting.

“Fuck you, Rey. You want to be the victim, that’s your choice. Don’t blame me for choosing to survive. I was only trying to help because we are so similar, but I’m done. Connection be damned, whatever this is, I’m ending it!”

“Ren… don’t… I’m… ” She sighs when he is gone.

She spends the rest of the night attempting to reach him and thinking everything over. Using her Force to exhaustion she sleeps most of the following day. Spending the next evening packing her bag in preparation to leave she leaves one item behind. The phone she used to find Luke, the beacon, as Leia called it. The electricity on the island is so spotty she hasn’t charged it in a week. She tosses it to the bed and steps out the door without looking back.

It’ll be hard to navigate in the dark, but if the sky stays relatively clear she can see the lights from the mainland and head towards them. Drawn into the pitch of the night, in murky waters solid black without the sun, she follows her heart to a man she shouldn’t have angered. Having no idea why she feels so drawn to him other than to assuage her guilt for her words.

The waves rock her small boat side to side to the point she wishes she hadn’t eaten beforehand. Leaning over the side, she feeds the fish her meal from before, groaning in discomfort when she leans back from the edge. She grabs her canteen and takes a small swig to wash her mouth out, her spare hand commanding the boat back towards the lights as they enlarge before her, the smooth shape of land becomes visible after hours of rocking and vomiting.

Silently, she prays to herself that she can keep her eyes open long enough to make it to land, the swishing of the waves beneath the boat stoking her nausea. The dizziness coaxes her heavy lids to shut as she leans over the steering wheel and the boat stalls.

When she comes to she can feel the rocking of the boat has slowed to a gently wobble. Her eyes open as she looks over the wheel towards where the boat ran aground.

A man in solid black with shaggy hair tangled by the sea breeze stands surrounded by five men in uniform. Wearing a smirk upon his lips his eyes harden against her. He nods to the men who approach her and yank her upright to drag her from the boat. She looks helplessly into eyes, hoping for something more from him than this.

“Hi, sweetheart. So glad you could join us,” he says before turning his attention to his men. “Get her in the car, it’s a long drive.”

Smelling him before seeing him she expects to open her eyes to being roped to a chair. Instead, she finds herself in undeniably soft bed. A welcome feeling after the one she had been using. It cradles her body so well she doesn’t want to move. The sheets are slick, but warm against her skin. Turning to her side she finds him there dressed on top of the sheets. He’s facing her and breathing deeply with a damp washcloth gripped in his hand.

Slipping backwards out of the bed, careful not to disturb him, she finds his bathroom to freshen up. Washing her face and rinsing her mouth with mouthwash before using her fingers to comb her hair into something more or less normal looking, she looks at her reflection in the large mirror. At some point he removed her outer clothing and replaced it with a long red t-shirt of his. Something not black, she thinks. She caresses her face, the whirl of the boat still floating in her head she wishes she weren’t sick still.

Stepping back into his bedroom she looks around breathing in the dusty air rich with furniture polish and men’s cologne. A strange mixture or leather from the furniture present also, she can see why he is hard to forget the smell of; so many fragrances happening at once. Impressed with how clean his room is otherwise she softly walks across the cold floor in her bare feet checking out his bookshelves and his desk. Nothing unexpected really, all old books probably here before he was, and his desk is just as clean as his room.

Her head still reeling in motion she walks back to the side of the bed and stares at his motionless body for a moment desiring the comfort of his embrace. Remembering the way it felt to be near him, she crawls in with heavy effort not to wake him, but his eyes open anyway the edge of his lips curving with the hint of a smile.

Inching into the bed she lays back down facing him, curling into a ball on her side. His large arm snakes under the sheet and around her waist hauling her gently across the mattress towards him. Their faces inches apart she adjusts to sharing a pillow with him imagining looking like a small child next to him.

“You are still green,” he says simply as his eyes roam over her face. “Do you feel any better?”

“I don’t remember anything past the boat. I also expected to be tied up.”

He sweeps a hair behind her ear. “You threw up all over my car and then passed out. Been asleep,” he looks at his thick banded smart watch, “nearly twenty four hours. I didn’t figure I needed to tie you up, you weren’t exactly moving around much.”

“I don’t understand. After our last conversation why are you taking care of me? I was kind of a bitch.”

“You needed me, I came, notice your Resistance isn’t here.”

“I noticed,” she admits refusing to look him in the eye. “You have me here, in your bed no less, what now?”

“Heh, I don’t know. I guess I’ll nurse you back to health and we’ll go from there?” he suggests watching her eyes widen in surprise. “What? I’m not a villain, Rey. Sex with a sick person isn’t necessarily all that appealing. “

Smiling tentatively she runs her finger down the length of his nose coming to a rest on his lips. He kisses her fingertip and laughs swiping her hand away to get out of the bed.

“Good, I’m not in the mood.”

A deep laugh radiates from his chest as he walks towards the bathroom. “That’s a first. I’m taking a shower. When I am through I will get you whatever you need. You’ll still be here, right?”

“Yes, but I can’t promise I’ll be awake.” She yawns and pulls the blankets tight. “Ren, thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenagers in love, eh? Gotta love the determined awkwardness of youth driven desire.

The smooth sheets wrap around Rey’s body as she stretches. Flexing her toes against the soft texture she reaches above her head with a yawn. Alone in Ren’s room after another round of sleeping she has no idea what day it is, what hour it is, and she doesn’t care. Well rested for the first time in months her biggest concern of the moment is a shower.

Hot steamy water pours over her from dual shower heads rinsing the grime sticking on her skin from running a fever. She picks up the gritty bar of earthy soap. Putting it to her nose she inhales the scent of him with a smile. She washes quickly eager to get back to the room to see if he has returned.

With a towel wrapped around her she peeks into the bedroom through the cracked door. Her bag rests on the trunk at the end of his bed with the rest of her clothing. He stands in between pacing, waiting for her. Turning her direction when he hears the door open he closes the distance between them easily with his long strides.

Pushing the door from her hands he opens the space between them, then places his hands on her cheeks to examine her face. His thumbs rest against her temples as he kisses her in the middle of the forehead. She stands helpless with the towel clutched in her fist tightly above her breasts.

“Your fever is gone.” He smiles warmly.

“Good.” She exhales nervously, having expected something different than a fever check.

Without warning he hikes her up his body by the waist and pushes her flush against the doorjamb.

“Hi,” she laughs as he brings them face to face.

Her legs wrap securely around his waist with his hands firmly gripping her by the ass. His fingertips press into her soft wet skin as he gazes at her with a faint smile. His lips press to hers opening a flood of memories to their first kiss. Anticipating the slight saltiness of his saliva she lets go of her towel to wrap her arms around his neck. Her mouth parts at the request of his tongue eliciting a small grunt from the back of her throat.

Minutes pass as their tongues tangle together between moist lips. Threading her fingers through his hair she keeps him close, refusing to let him stop, even to catch his breath. Only when he groans at her does she relent and let him go her lips throbbing in his absence.

Carefully, he places her back to her feet while grinning at her like an infatuated teenager. “Hi.”

Adjusting her towel again she glances up at him confused. “That’s it?”

“For now,” he chuckles at her with a shrug. “Why, can’t wait for the big game?”

Blushing she walks around him towards her bag. She fumbles through to find something clean, but there isn’t anything she needs. It thuds back to the top of the trunk when she drops it in frustration. His arms crossed he watches her humored by her frustrations.

“I guess I’m going naked.”

Without a response he steps over to the dresser and pulls out a drawer gesturing for her to look inside. “I checked out your size when you first got here and sent out for some essentials.”

Getting closer she looks inside surprised to find a decent selection of undergarments. “I can live with that.”

Grabbing a pair of underwear she slips them on before handing him the towel and digging in the next drawer down. Finding a moderately long tee shirt she pops it on quickly.

“How long have I been here exactly?” she asks leaning against the dresser.

“Almost a week. You slept through most of it. You don’t remember?”

“No.” She twists her lip, biting it. “Mostly sleeping and the soup occasionally. Is there anything I should remember?”

“No. How about a real meal? I can have something brought or we can go somewhere,” he suggests, anxiously shoving his hands in his pockets so he won’t fidget.

She nods. “I could eat, but I don’t think it’s wise to go out anywhere. I might be here now, but for how long? I haven’t chosen my path yet. I’m only here because I got sick and you felt that. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Frowning, his head drops as he focuses his eyes on the tips of his shoes. “So, you don’t want them to know you are here?”

“Not yet, don’t be mad I’m undecided. I haven’t caught up with everything yet. I’m still with you for the time being.”

Clicking his tongue he goes to his desk to sit down. “Yeah, great,” he says sardonically. 

She watches as he pulls out a stack of take-out menus. “Dammit Ren, what do you want from me?”

“Don’t worry about it. Come pick something out.” He pushes the stack towards her, his eyes never leaving the surface of his desk.

Grumbling she storms over to the front side of his desk. “Would you quit being so stubborn and tell me exactly what you think we are supposed to be? What you need from me?”

His hands land firmly on the desk surface as he leans across towards her, his raises his voice. “I want you to want me the way I want you. I want you to struggle sleeping at night because I’m the only thing you can think of. I want you to miss me so much that you can’t bring yourself to eat. I want you because you are you, and I want the same. I want it all, Rey, every bit of it; every bit of you.”

She waits as he sits back down and crosses his arms and stares at the wall. Her voice softer than usual, she responds. “What is _it_ , for you? What does that mean?”

She regrets asking the obvious question she knows the answer to already. It’s all she can do to buy time to put her own thoughts in order. The growl in her stomach not helping, she grabs the menus and flips through them, giving him an out from having to admit it looking into her eyes.

“Fucking seriously? Love, Rey. Love is the it,” he mumbles angrily. “Don’t you think if I didn’t love you on some level that this would be different? That I would have kept my hands to myself over the last week when I crave touching you? I could have taken advantage, but I didn’t.”

Having chosen a restaurant, she slides the menu open to what she wants, pointing it out. “This one, please.”

Leaning over he nods. “Okay.”

They sit in silence after he places their order.

Unsure if she is ready, she clears her throat to speak. “Ren, love isn’t something that comes easy to me and I don’t think that it comes all that easy to you either. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t love you, on some level, like you said. I do all those things you listed. I think about you non-stop. I miss you like we’ve already spent a lifetime together. It scares me to have those feelings because I’m still young, you, you’re still young. It isn’t normal to be this attached to someone that you barely know even though, we really do know. It isn’t normal to be so dark and angry and capable of killing people and also capable of love. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Scoffing, he turns in his desk chair towards her. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t care if it does. And you have to remember we might not be all that old, but we both had to grow up faster than others do. That should count for something, some kind of experience and ability to determine you love someone can come from that. It does for me.”

She nods. “You’re right, but if I choose any path I risk losing you. If I were to leave right now and go back to the resistance, I’ll be the enemy. If I stay here with you, then this tyrannically government continues and you will always have the second biggest target on your back. Eventually, someone is going to find you and they will assassinate you. Where would I be in either of those scenarios, but alone?”

“So you plan on hovering in an emotional limbo?”

“Don’t you understand either way I am terrified of losing you and I’m here because I want to be with you before that can happen? I’m here, right now, and I’m not choosing until I get a better idea of where I belong. Who knows maybe I’ll sneak away under the cover of darkness one night.”

“I’d find you. I’ll always find you.”

“What a grand notion you have of love…”

They both look up when a knock sounds on the door. Ren invites them in by merely saying _enter_. A trooper walks over with a silver serving tray and a paper bag sitting on top with two drinks. Rey watches enthralled by how little he has to do to be waited on. Ren unpacks the containers setting hers in front of her.

“You can pull up that other chair,” he says shoving a freshly unwrapped straw into his cup.

Returning with the chair she follows suit with her own drink and straw before cracking her container open. “Thank you, by the way. I’m absolutely starving.”

“I bet you are. You’re welcome, by the way.”

Taking a few bites and big sip of her drink she sighs at the silence that follows. Paying close attention to how he ignores her.

“This is a beautiful home. I guess it’s pretty old.”

Raising his eyebrows he swallows his food. “Over a hundred years, but it’s been modernized in many ways. You don’t really care about this estate, do you?”

“I do think it is a beautiful building, but no, not otherwise. Just you.”

“Kiss ass.” He laughs.

She smiles at his change in moods. “Honesty.”

“You’re beautiful, more so than this old place. Are you done?” He points to her near empty container waiting for her to nod before collecting it and throwing all the trash into the waste bin by his desk. “How about a movie?”

Blushing from his comment she simply nods again and follows him. He reaches in the bedside table on the side he’s been sleeping on to pull out a remote. Watching her face he extends his arm towards the other side of his room while pushing a button. A slow humming comes on and a TV rises from the stand against the wall at the foot of the bed.

“Impressive.”

“There are a lot of impressive things here,” he suggests.

“Just things though.”

Proud of the way she makes him huff she hops into bed waiting for him to join her. Once he kicks his shoes off he sits with her against the headboard. She waits for a bit before getting closer, but when she does she slinks under his arm so it’s wrapped around her shoulders. It frees her to rest her cheek against his chest to listen to his breathing and his heart beating, hearing it speed up as she settles against him.

He coughs at the feel of her leg linking over his. “You don’t have to do this.”

She looks up at his face smiling at his shaky words. “I want to be close to you.”

Pushing forward she wraps her arm around him. Now clinging to him they watch the movie as his fingers slip down from her shoulder to create circles on her back. Freezing so he won’t stop she closes her eyes and thinks about her breathing, not wanting him to notice her trembling at his touch.

A few moments later she raises her leg upwards along his until she can feel his erection where it strains against the crotch of his pants. Attempting to remain causal she shuffles as though she were trying to get comfortable. She can’t tell if it is working or he is ignoring the position of her leg, but she is close enough she can feel when he twitches at her close proximity.

Clearing his throat first he attempts to adjust himself without disrupting her. She only clings tighter, her leg rubbing against him she gets an impression of his size.

“I don’t want to be rude or ruin your fun, but you are torturing me here.”

“Isn’t the point of movie time to snuggle and rub on one each other?”

He looks down at her smug face and chuckles. “To be fair it’s really easy for you to see what happens when you touch me. It’s not so easy the other way.”

Pondering his words she sits up on her knees next to him and takes his hand in hers. Inverting his palm upwards she pulls his hand against her warm mound. Air escapes his lungs in an almost gasp the moment he touches her thinly cloth covered warmth. She slowly slides his fingers over the cloth knowing he can feel the way her soft flesh melds against his fingers. Letting go of his hand she puts her hands on his shoulder to brace herself but he freezes in place the moment she moves her hands away.

“You have to keep rubbing,” she whispers, catching his nervous eyes with hers. “It’s fine. I want you to.”

Taking a deep breath he begins to rub her, stroking her softly with his fingers until he can feel them become moist. “Can I go under your panties?”

“This is easier.”

Sliding her panties past her knees she wiggles out of them holding them out in front of him. He grabs them and tosses them over his shoulder while she laughs. Blowing air out from his pursed lips he places his hand back on her mound. She shudders, but smiles encouragingly. Solid thick fingers course over her dampened folds. A sigh escapes between her lips before she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth. Her fingertips dig into his shoulder in anticipation when his middle finger dips in near her entrance already slick in preparation.

Grabbing his hand, she stops him for a second. Keeping him pressed to her flesh. “Not more than one and not too deep.”

“What?” He tilts his head questioningly.

Her cheeks flash hot. “I don’t want to lose my hymen that way. I want it to be the normal way.”

Slipping his finger softly inside closing his eyes in pleasure at how wet and warm she is. “Okay,” he whispers distracted by her.

“Now, take the finger you have inside of me and find my clitoris,” she breathes, fingertips clenching hard when he obeys. “Not too hard, but that’s what will get me off.”

“I love how soft you are,” he looks up at her distressed face looking for cues. “Is this okay?”

“Uh huh,” slips from her mouth, her hips jerking at his finger rapidly stroking her clit. “Ren.”

Her eyes slam shut as she leans forward to bite into his shoulder. He takes her over the edge quicker than expected. He continues to rub her until she pushes his hand away and falls backwards with a heaving chest. Not thinking about his view, too relaxed to care, she jumps when his fingers trail over her exposed pussy.

“You’re so shiny,” he says caressesing her tenderly.

“That happens,” she laughs at his awe. “You did pretty good.”

“Here,” he sits up and reaches for her hand. “I want to more.”

Grabbing his hand she lets him lead her back towards the head of the bed. He pulls her until she rests over his chest and his lips can reach hers. Her lips find his flattening together in one swift motion. Bodies flush, his hand holding her by one cheek of her ass. The bareness of her presses to the rough fabric of his pants, his erection beneath the surface.

“Do you want me to do you too?” she asks palms pressed to his chest as she leans upwards.

“Um, are you going to let me fuck you?” he asks clearly disappointed by the direction of her suggestion.

“Hmmm, no. Not yet, but I’ll jerk you off.” Her voice is apologetic.

He nods at her. “Okay, I’ll take it.” He laughs as he undoes his pants and slides them down, his boxers still in place. “Are you sure you want to?”

“Nervous?”

“To show you my dick, maybe.” He grins at her anxiously. “I don’t know what you expect. I at least had a hint about you.”

“You sure about that? I’ve felt you pressed against me multiple times. I know how… um, sizable you are.”

“Sizable?” He laughs. “Is that a good thing?”

She shrugs as she settles with her legs crossed at his side her hand teasing his skin near his navel. “At this stage probably not so great, but later it should be. I’ve heard different things from people, but I’m not an expert.”

“Are you ready?” he practically whimpers, giving her a doubted look.

Her hand reaches for him, grabbing him through his boxers to get an idea of his size within her hand. When she sees his muscles relax she uses her other hand to pull the band of his boxers down. Grunting when she takes him in her palm, he looks at her face as she leans in and explores him. Learning the way his skin ripples around his erection from veins to the feel of the tip of his dick when she squeezes it’s gently to watch him ooze.

Her thumb slicks the precum over his flesh. Wrapping her hand around him she uses the fluid to slide a ring formation with her grip over the head and down the extensive length of him. Stroking him slowly, she looks up to see his reaction. He has his eyes trained on her as she hand fucks him. She gives him a grin as she speeds up doing her best to mimic what she thinks he would like.

“Is it going to go everywhere?” she asks as he groans and presses his hands over his face, sensing it won’t be much longer.

He shakes his head. “Nope, you’ll see here in few seconds. Are you ready for me?”

“Uh huh.”

“Tighter and faster,” he instructs reaching for her hand to guide her. “Keep doing that.”

She keeps going as fast as she can the way he says. Her arm aches as she watches eagerly, refusing to quit. Jumping when he lets out a guttural moan suddenly, she looks between his face and his cock to see it erupt and trickle down over the back of her hand. Squeezing him at the tip in small strokes until it stops, she laughs when he jerks.

“That’s going to feel weird when it’s inside of me,” she states as he peeks at her through his fingers.

Removing her fingers carefully she investigates his cum, twisting her fingers in the little bit of light.

He reaches over and grabs a box of tissue holding it out towards her. “Sorry.”

“I just wipe it away, huh? Don’t some girls lick it or eat it?”

“I suppose so, when they give a blowjob maybe,” he looks at her curiously as she sticks her tongue out and collecting just a small drop she smacks in her mouth for a taste.

“It’s salty, but not so bad. Kinda slimy.” She wipes the rest away with a tissue and tosses it at him. “That’s yours.”

“Gross, Rey.” He bats it away. “Not near my face at least, Jesus.”

She slips down next to him in the bed her arm over his waist and head cradled in the crook of his arm. “I guess we should rewind the movie, I missed most of it.”


End file.
